What’s the bottom line?

Over the years trousers have shortened to knickerbockers, culottes, Bermudas, cropped, city and hotpants. I’ve owned all of the above at some point and perhaps comfort has overtaken trend for me. I’m not really the age to get away with wearing hotpants even if I wanted to but I wonder if it is said age that makes me think, ‘if I can see your bum cheeks your shorts are too short’?
When are shorts no longer shorts?
I saw a heck of a lot more of Miley Cyrus when she was wearing her fashionable pair of pockets from denim cut offs longer than the garment itself. (Were they not in fact a pair of denim knickers?)

I realize I sound old but I’d rather admit to being the rather appropriately named old-fashioned. I’ll happily strip off in the right environment but I don’t know where that is anymore.
With the recent hot weather it’s been almost de rigueur to strip off to bikinis in public parks but last week I was confused that a woman was walking down the high street wearing only a swimming costume and heels – not a lido or a beach within her walking radius.

A little lad was asked to leave a supermarket for having no top on and I’m all for the cover up in certain places but where and what are they? Is there a clothing etiquette? I cannot dress suitably in hot weather unless I’m on holiday. It seems strange to wear the same at home.
I’ve noticed if you’re young or fit, people are more than happy for you to flash the flesh but if you’re overweight or old, people are retching and complaining.
God knows where that leaves me being somewhere in the middle. What the heck am I supposed to wear? I suppose life’s too short to care.